with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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