On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
