Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
