2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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