mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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