Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
