how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
