We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
