i jhust puked up my retainher.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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