Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
