Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
