So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
