Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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