(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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