what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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