I hope mine doesn't look like that
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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