I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
