My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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