I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
