He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
