I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
