I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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