I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
