i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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