Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize