i don't like sucking hair
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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