ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
