Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
