the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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