So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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