he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
