fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
