Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
