Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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