The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
