So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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