haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
