would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
