I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Shame - the story of my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
