in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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