The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There r osticjed everywhere
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry about my life...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
