Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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