tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
