I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
