remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
