Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
