Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
