If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
