2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
