Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
