So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
