Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
