I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
