Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
