so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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