Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
