just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
