Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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