WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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