So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
