found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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