We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
