laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
